Coming Up Collins: Too Good To Be True...

Lately I've been feeling like my life is too good to be true...like I'm just waiting for the bottom to fall out...for whatever reason, family life just feels more complete than it used to now that Adler has joined the ranks. That sounds weird because my life felt complete before him but now that he's here...it's even more complete...better. Maybe it's seeing Ayris and Asher with him and how good they are. I'm so used to Ayris and Asher just fighting with one another (which seems like nonstop sometimes) but on their own, they are so gentle and loving to Adler...perhaps it's just that I'm seeing their "loving nature" more often since there's another sibling in the picture now...whatever it is, I'm loving it...and I'm loving life...but there's this constant thought in the back of my head...the what if...what if something happens to one of the kids...or to Chris, or even myself? Thinking like that absolutely makes me sick...but then I question what makes me more derserving of having such a full and wonderful life when others don't/can't. I just want a guarantee from God himself that all of us are going to live long happy lives and that I have nothing to worry about. Some idiot ran a red light yesterday and I was about 3 inches from hitting him...and I had Ayris and Asher in the car with me...that was just a huge reminder of the fact that I don't even want my kids to drive...EVER. Or even leave the house for that matter. Quite frankly, I don't even want them to grow up...as exhausting as it can be...I'd just rather take care of them forever. I heard this song below on another blog tonight...it super sucks and made me cry...why does life go on and move so fast? Why can't it just circle around forever?

This is the Woombie...it's supposed to mimic the womb while keeping them contained but allowing more movement than regular swaddling. It's still a little big for him...plus, he's not big on swaddling =)