Ayris: MOM! I need some marshmallows and a milk sippy cup
Mommy: Okay, go potty while I'm getting those.
Ayris: Okay, can you put my marshmallows in the pink Dora bowl...the one that has Boots on it too?
OK...nothing like being tediously specific to the point where I'm going to have to search through the cupboards and perhaps the dishwasher, maybe even the sink to find this special bowl...BUT she comes walking into the kitchen and hands me the bowl...apparently she's already used it.
Mommy: Okay, can you grab the marshmallows out of the pantry?
Ayris: No, I'd really rather not.
And before I have a chance to respond to that she says:
...Besides, you told me to go potty.
Aaaahhhhh!!!!
First off, I'd really rather not? She must not be aware that she's three. Second off, even though I did tell her to go potty...how is she smart enough to know that she can use that against my asking her to do something!!!
As I was coming up the stairs she's telling me: "Mommy, I don't want you to read a book tonight, I want you to tell me a story...you know...like, "Once upon a time, there was a girl named Ayris and she went walking down the path..." like that."
I've told hundreds of stories, and yet I still must need to be reminded of how they should be told. Now I know what Chris feels like. Even if I KNOW he knows what he should be doing or how he should be doing it, I might just kindly remind him one more time...it must be the curse of the firstborn or being female in general. I was actually thinking about that this morning when I was up with Asher...I feel bad for Ayris because I'd like to go against all the psychology out there when it comes to first borns...I mean, I'd like to treat Ayris in a way that allows her the qualities of say, the last born...unfortunately, that's not the case. Yesterday when Asher was crying uncontrollably, she was trying to have a conversation with me and I finally yelled at her to just leave the bathroom...I couldn't take both at once. Later I sat down with her and explained that I wasn't mad at her, etc and that I just couldn't hear her while Asher was screaming, etc but I decided that it must suck to be a kid sometimes. Granted at least 80 percent of it has to be absolutely wonderful...especially living with Chris and I =) Playing in the pool...eating Popsicle's and watching Dora...going to the park, hanging out with mom and dad...the list goes on and on...but for Ayris, when she gets yelled at for this and that...half the time she probably doesn't understand. How is a 3 year old who barely understands her own emotions supposed to understand that mommy has a crazy chip in her that goes off when catastrophe strikes (like the bathtub moment)...it doesn't really seem fair. That coupled with the fact that she has more responsibilities and takes on more of the burden being the oldest. She's usually the first to get yelled at when fights break out between her and Asher...even when it might not be her fault...because she should know better...but again, she's 3...so how high can my expectations be? I'd like to order the software that would allow me to treat all of my children fairly and not put any extra burdens/limitations on one that I wouldn't the other...I just need that perfect mom chip =)
It's my favorite lying here while she's asleep...she's so cute...and quiet. This is generally when I think about all the guilt I have for the things aforementioned above...quite frankly, this is probably the only time I have to even form thoughts of guilt in my head...because there's silence...it's the only time she's not talking. By the way, my mom informed me that Ayris talks way more than I did at her age...so perhaps I should be expecting more than just a few letters being sent home when she starts school? Detention? Expulsion? I kid, I kid...but seriously, take her home for a few hours...you'll see that I'm not lying...the girl is a nonstop chatterbox =)
:) Ahh, she's just recharging when she's sleeping!
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