Ayris is pissed...

I always think of myself as a good mother when taking the kids to the park because it's not my favorite thing to do in the world. First off, I'm a migraine person and the sun is an evil contributor to those migraines so I prefer to stay inside unless the clouds are covering the sun. Second, I'm fairly out of shape...and by out of shape, I mean that it takes my breath away to climb the stairs in our house, let alone pull 80 pounds of children in the wagon (which probably adds at least another 20 pounds itself...so technically I'm pulling 100 pounds in addition to my 150+ pounds...that's 250 pounds of weight I have to lug to the park!)...(you should know that I just took a brief break from writing this to go get Asher a bottle--yes, he still drinks a bottle--but while in the kitchen, I managed to snag a few bites of cake that Ayris just had to have yesterday and washed it down with some A&W root beer; one must not wonder too hard why I am out of shape at this point...I should put a mini fridge holding nothing but the milk upstairs so when Asher needs a bottle, I'm not tempted by everything in the kitchen AND whenever I need milk, be it for my breakfast or for the cupcakes I'm making, etc, I'll actually have to climb the stairs to get it...while I'm being unrealistic, I might as well just put the whole refrigerator upstairs thus leaving me with the best diet plan ever...I'd be too lazy to go get food. But who am I kidding...that would only mean that the kids and I's new location everyday would be upstairs instead of downstairs. OK, so my third point...once I actually make it to the park out of breath and sweating, I now have to work hard to make sure my children have fun...pushing them in the swings isn't TOO difficult but then I have to go all over this huge contraption with slides and monkey bars and ropes and about 100 other ways Asher could kill himself if not properly attended by me at all times. So after fun has been had by all...or at least two little people, I then have to make the long trek back home.

The fun doesn't end there...now that everyone, including myself, smells like dog from being outside for the past hour, it's now bath time. Bath time generally means water covering my entire bathroom floor, Ayris bargaining for me to not wash her hair and then screaming when the least bit of water gets into her eyes or ears and then sometimes if I'm REALLY lucky, I have a child who will poop all over. Poop in the bathtub piles on even more time to this adventure because not only do I have to wait until our jacked up tub decides to drain (usually a good 10 minutes), I have to make sure Asher doesn't play with the poop (he usually poops before I've bathed the children so they still have to wait to be washed), all while getting the 78 toys that are floating around the poop out and cleaned (actually I'll be honest...I only cleaned the toys off the first two times the poop happened...I don't have time for that anymore so they just get put in their toy bucket), THEN I get to fish all the poop out of the tub, scrub the tub down and refill the thing so I can now bathe the kids who are now cranky from standing all wet and cold for the past 10 minutes. Then it's another 10 minutes just to get them dressed because I have little naked butts that would prefer to run around versus getting their clothes on.

SO...with all that being said, I think I'm pretty awesome when I go to the park full knowing what I'm in for; a potential migraine, feeling like I'm going to die and sweating like a pig while at it, the long trek home and the awesome bath ritual that follows...

We've gone to the park now three days in a row...but that's not what I'm writing about (I just wanted to emphasize my awesomeness--although I will admit that my lovely husband did take the kids on one of those trips).


After the first trip, I decided after we were done, that I needed to reward all of my hard motherly work with a chocolate chip shake from DQ. On the way there, Ayris very cooly chimes in from the backseat:

"I'm pissed off"

In the three seconds before I responded, I'm first going through my mind trying to remember when I might have used the word pissed in front of her but more importantly, I'm thinking how cute it is to have heard her say that...there's few things cuter than a little kid swearing when they have no idea what they're saying...

Mommy: Why are you pissed?
Ayris: I'm pissed at the park.
Mommy: Why is that?
Ayris: The park was too long.
Mommy: What do you mean the park was too long? Do you even know what pissed off means?
Ayris: I know there are things that piss you off.

That was pretty much the end of the conversation. I explained that yes there were things that pissed me off and exactly what that word meant...basically that it was just things that "upset" you...I figured I wouldn't tell her it was a bad word...I figured I'd just wait and see if she used it again and then go from there.

Wasn't that a long opening for just a little dialogue of Ayris using the word pissed?!?

Speaking of Ayris though...if anyone needs a decorator, just let me know. Ayris' forte is stickers. She leaves them everywhere...the most recent discovery was this:

Did you notice the difference?

Yeah, it's a little giraffe sticker...

Quite the addition to my wall...although I prefer things to be balanced and proportional so I may have to request that she put another sticker on the other side.