3:57 a.m.
Brain: Hey, wake up...your baby is crying.
Me: Shut up. It's not my night. It's Chris', hence the earplugs in my ears.
Brain: He's still crying. Get up. You have to pee anyway.
Me: Seriously, leave me alone. It's my night tomorrow...I'll get up with him then.
Brain: What kind of mom are you?
Me: OMGOSH FINE! Quit begging. I'll get up. Just shut up about it.
Brain: See! That didn't take long. Now let's talk! Let's play! Let's start thinking about the day ahead of us!
Me: Let's not. That day isn't for another...(checks phone) 2.5 hours...
Brain: Okay, let's think about yesterday! That women's holiday dinner was nice huh? Wonder if it's snowing out? Are you going to be grateful even if you wake up tomorrow/I mean today, and there's 8 inches of snow on the ground???? Huh, huh, huh? Are ya?
Me: Please stop talking to me.
Brain: I bet you're gonna be mad if you can't go out and see your movie tomorrow because of the snow.
Me: Oh, I'm gonna go see my movie. I have to go to Target too...I promised Ayris a pink lizard...and I need to get them some pillow pets too...Oh, and that Ramona and Beezus movie...that'll be a good one for Ayris.
Me: OH MY GOODNESS! You're totally keeping me awake!
After another 45 minutes of tossing and turning while trying to shut my brain up, I finally fall back to sleep. And I have this awesome dream where I wake up in bed and a little baby lizard is eating a tiny snake right beside me...what the heck...I jump up...and more snakes start appearing...they're so small they're more like tiny worms...before I know it, my entire bedroom is covered in wormy snake things...all over the walls and the floors...and then I look over to the dresser and there are hundreds of lizards covering it...crawling into the drawers and everywhere...I run to find Chris and when he goes into the bedroom, everything is gone. No worm snakes. No lizards. He wants me to go back to bed. Yeah right dude...you go back to bed in the room with the worm snakes and lizards! I'm getting out of this infested house. So I leave and as I'm driving, little tiny worms are falling out of my hair...now I'm freaking out. At this point, I start worrying that while I was sleeping, worms might have crawled inside me and 9 months from now, I'm going to deliver some giant worm baby. So I start searching for a scientist of some sort because I have stored the baby worms that were crawling on me in a cup...but before I find the scientist, the worms turn into some pink mush. And then Adler starts crying in real life and I have no choice but to wake up...to the nuisance that is my brain...
Brain: You're welcome. You should have just stayed awake like I was telling you to!
And while we're at it...here's a note to my sweet baby boy Adler:
It's been almost a week since daylight savings...get on board with it and please refrain from crying until anytime after 7. These 6 o'clock wake up calls are not meshing well with my middle of the night brain battles that I seem to be having lately! Thanks little buddy.
A few more things to note...yesterday I was making some potato/cheddar/broccoli/chicken thing when I hear this exchange between the kids at the kitchen table:
Ayris: Something smells like throw-up...I think mom is making lunch...
Asher: Well I don't like throw-up.
Ayris: I don't either.
Asher: Ayris, I don't want to eat throw-up for lunch!
Ayris: I don't want to eat throw up either!
That was a totally normal conversation between the two of them...as though 1) I wasn't within earshot and couldn't hear them and 2) as though I just might actually feed them throw up for lunch...Sheesh! In case you're wondering...Ayris wouldn't touch the throw-up but Asher quite enjoyed it =)
And lastly, here's Chris and I's conversation on the way to a parenting workshop this past Tuesday night:
Me: I'm tired.
Chris: Well if we're not paying for this class, do we really have to go?
Me: We're going.
Chris: Wanna go to the mall?
Me: I hate the mall...
Chris: Wanna go to the casino?
Me: I hate the casino...
Chris: Wanna go cruising for chicks?
Me: No. The only other place I'd want to go, is a place that has a bed, so I can take a nap.
Chris: Wanna go to slumberland?
Hahahaha! Turns out, slumberland would have been a far better option than the actual parenting class =) Chris has started his own blog and he chronicles the parenting class here... Feel free to message him and ask him how he came up with the name of his blog...I'm sure he would love that since he spent a good 20 minutes trying to explain it to me on 3 separate occasions =)
I do want to post my favorite "comic" of his so far:
Oh how this cracks me up. He put 20 children on there! I'd say the stick figure representing me looks mighty fine for having 20 children!!!
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