Every so often...my husband can be funny...

One of the the qualities I loved about Chris from the get go was how quick witted he could be...he will tell you that I don't think he's funny anymore...that's not the case...I just think that life in general (me, the kids, his job, etc) has sucked a lot of the funny/energy right out of him...but the fact remains...he's still a funny guy. Here are two good quotes from Chris:

(Mike is Chris' coworker)

Mike: I played three games in a row for softball last night...I'm really stiff and sore.
Chris: I have ibuprofen if you need it...
Mike: Really, you have ibuprofen?
Chris: Are you kidding? I have to take ibuprofen every time I climb the stairs.

Ha Ha Ha...see, I'm not the only one out of shape...it's a family thing =)

For the next part, you should know that Chris thinks it's freezing in our house every night...it's not freezing...I keep it at 69/70 at night...apparently that's cold in his world...

Me: Why do you always go to bed in long pants, long t-shirt, and sweatshirt?
Chris: Because it's freezing in here, so when I throw the covers off at night, I'm still warm. Maybe if you didn't sleep underneath that thick down comforter, you wouldn't be so hot at night.
Me: Oh, well, I feel safer and more protected when I'm under the covers.
Chris: Yeah, I know what you mean...I used to be like that too.
Me: Really? (Thinking I'm not the only crazy fool who has to be completely under the covers for "protection").
Chris: Yeah...when I was 5.

Very funny.

Ayris is growing up faster than I'd prefer

When did I become that mom...You know...the mom who is apparently being too much of a mom?

I decided after Ayris got home from Valleyfair tonight that she was in need of a shower...as soon as I got her and Asher settled in on their washcloths in the shower I grabbed the soap and starting washing Ayris' legs...and that's when she said:

"Muh-oooommmm-mmmm!"

She might as well have said:

"Muh-ooommmm-mmmm!, do you really have to be a chaperon on EVERY single fieldtrip I take?"

OR:

"Muh-oommmm-mmm!, we're just going to dinner and a movie...do you really expect me to call you every hour on the hour?" (Um...yes, I do sweetie.)

OR:

"Muh-oommmm-mmm!, stop pinching my butt and telling me how cute I am...I'm 16 now and you're lucky I'm being seen with you in public in the first place..."

Those of course, are all likely scenarios that will take place sometime in the near future...but for now, seriously, I never would have thought my 3.5 year old would whip out the "I'm old enough to take care of myself/what is wrong with you/you embarrass me/Muh-oommm-mmm!" phrase.

Another sign of her impending maturation...tonight as I was laying with her in bed, she had put her new pink puppy that Grandma Sooner got her from V.F. right by my head saying that he was going to snuggle with me. After a few minutes of that, I moved him over to Ayris' side:

Ayris: Mom, why did you move him? (Even calling me mom gives me pause...what happened to Mommy?)
Mommy: Oh, because he said that he wanted to snuggle with you instead.
Ayris: No he didn't.
Mommy: Actually he did.
Ayris: No, he didn't mom, he can't talk.

Well that's funny because yesterday I found a bunch of smashed up cookies on a blanket...yeah, Ayris was feeding her stuffed horses...because they were hungry. She had quite the conversation going with those horses. And yet, the pink puppy can't talk?

Yesterday my girl was into pretend play and dress up...today my child is quite possibly working her way up to being the next Rhodes Scholar.

The Pickup Fairy

So I was reading in my Parents magazine that one mother trained her son to pick up his toys by telling him that if he didn't, The Pickup Fairy would come and take his toys for a whole week. The mother said she felt slightly guilty about lying to her son but got approval from her doctor because kids at that stage were very imaginative so it was acceptable.

I decided to try this method tonight...I thought it would be simple...no questions asked...but Ayris was full of questions...perhaps she's too smart for this game.

I explained to her that the Pickup Fairy would come and take her toys if she didn't pick them up at the end of each day...and that mommy wasn't allowed to help because the Pickup Fairy thought it was important for children to learn how to pick up their own toys...

Shortly after Ayris was convinced that it was a good idea to pick up her toys, she walks into the kitchen and says:

I think I'm going to leave this ball for the Pickup Fairy to take tonight...

MmmmKKK...hadn't quite thought of where I'd actually hide the toys if my child requested specific ones be taken away!

Then she asked if the fairy was mean? Well how do I answer that? At first I started to say no...but then I thought, what kind of nice fairy steals toys?

Then she asks if the fairy has two hands?

Well yes, I'm pretty sure she does...why?

Ayris: Because it's going to take her an awfully long time to pick up all these toys with only two hands.

Good point...I should've told her she had ten hands. I wish I had ten hands...that would make my job a lot easier. Actually, I wish I had a pickup fairy myself...that'd be even better.

Then she asked if she had wings...well yes, don't all fairies have wings?

Then she asked if she'd take her balloon? Will she take the blanket?

Damn, this is becoming more complicated by the minute...and my mother will tell you I have a question limit...(come to think of it...this is probably payback...for getting super annoyed with my mother when she asked too many questions (and by too many, I mean anything more than 3)...this must be God trying to teach me patience by having a daughter who does the same thing!)

At this point, I might just remain the Pickup Fairy myself...it's far less time consuming than answering all of Ayris' questions =)

In all honesty though, Ayris did pretty well. It was difficult getting her motivated but I decided to pull out a timer while she was at it...an added emphasis that made the game a little more interesting. I asked her if she wanted 2 minutes or 5 minutes. She said 5 minutes...well she finished picking up with time to spare and it was the best job she's ever done when it comes to picking up.

I wonder what other fairies I could make up? The Wash Your Hands Fairy...The Go To Bed By Yourself Fairy...The Brush Your Teeth Fairy...The No Talking Back Fairy...it might start to seem a little suspicious if we have a fairy for everything though...she is pretty smart after all. Smart enough to know that having your toys disappear for a week is better than actually having to pick them up day after day. That's the conclusion I'd come to anyway =P

What went around, finally came around!

So, I think I've blogged about how annoying the word "Mommy" can be when repeated a couple hundred times in a row.

Well, my lovely son Asher has now started saying Ayris' name and this was his conversation this morning as Ayris came walking down the stairs:

Asher: Air-wiss (pronounced Ayris), look bawoon! (pronounced balloon)
Ayris: Yeah, buddy, that's your ballon! (Seemingly not annoyed yet)
Asher: Air-wiss...Air-wiss...look, bawoon!!! Bawoon!!!
Ayris: Yeah, buddy, that's your ballon. (Becoming a little less interested in this exchange)

Ayris gets up on the couch...Asher follows her.

Asher: Air-wiss, Air-wiss...
Ayris: (Not responding...trying to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse)
Asher: Air-wiss, Air-wiss, bawoon!!
Ayris: Asher, stop showing me the balloon!
Asher: Air-wiss, Air-wiss, Air-wiss, Air-wiss, Air-wiss...
Ayris: Asher! Stop talking to me!
Asher: Air-wiss, Air-wi---
Ayris: MOMMY!!! TELL HIM TO STOP SAYING MY NAME AND TALKING TO ME!!!

Welcome to my world little girl! She didn't even last as long as I do when she's doing the same thing to me! There must be some part of the brain that goes crazy when subjected to repetition. I remember learning in my psychology class (and it was later emphasized on an episode of Grey's Anatomy? I think?) that the brain hates to be confused (forgot which side) so it will actually lie to resolve that confusion...so maybe in the same sense, when the brain is subjected to repetition, it feels like it is broken (like a broken record on repeat!) so it goes into self destruct mode...and we as humans get super annoyed...an instinct that is telling us to abort the situation before our head actually explodes.

That's at least what it feels like to me. And maybe to Ayris now too...=)

He just said her name again and she goes "WHAT!!!!"...I can see the horns starting to grow and I'm loving it! Seriously, this is cracking me up...I'm going to have to get it on video if I can...it probably won't happen because my children as of late go into robot mode when it gets turned on...it's like a telepathic message is sent between the two of them stating that they are not to resume normal activity until the video is turned off...instead, just sit there and stare blankly at the screen. That's annoying too...can't they just be my perfect children who do exactly as I ask...smile for the camera and do funny things on video when I want?

It's like they have a mind of their own?!?

Why does my house smell so good?

I'm posting this even though there's little doubt in my mind that you guys are literally going to think my children are NEVER supervised...I was uploading the pictures I just posted when Ayris asked if she could play in her room with Asher...sure, but no jumping on the bed!

About 5 minutes later I hear Asher saying, Owie, Eye! What's wrong with your eye buddy?, I say.

He comes walking down the stairs with my Glade Fabric and Air spray...continuously spraying it on his chest. Meanwhile, Ayris is upstairs with the Glade Fabric and Air PET spray and she's sprayed down the entire bathroom floor.

There are obviously worse things in life...I think my children just killed two birds with one stone for me! My house smells a lot better than it did before and now my child is actually getting clean in the bathtub =)

I'm off to supervise my children for the rest of the day...or at least the next hour or so =)

And yes mom, I am watching Asher in the bathtub as I write this...they are only unsupervised when there are potential messes they can create for me...not when they would be in danger!

My children are visually stunning...

There's this great site www.picnik.com that lets you alter your photos for free...I'm actually thinking about paying the 24.95 for a full year of extra tools because I love how well their free stuff turns out...plus, I could actually upload 100 photos at a time versus 1 picture...it gets a little time consuming to edit one picture at a time...and then when I can't decide between the Holga-ish or Lomo-ish features like below, it takes even longer...so I put both types below:

Seriously, what is wrong with my children lately?

It's like they need constant supervision! I woke up early this morning to take a shower because any SAHM knows that showers last about 3 minutes max when you have kids running around so I figured if I did it before they woke up, I could actually shave my legs and wash my hair while leaving the shampoo and conditioner on for more than 30 seconds...

I waited about 2.5 hours before deciding to dry my hair because letting it air dry shaves off about 15 minutes of dry time...well in a matter of minutes, I had fruit snacks ALL OVER the dining room floor. Seriously! What makes sense about throwing fruit snacks all over the floor? It's like Ayris has forgotten she's 3.5 and is operating under the assumption that she knows no better.


I then went on to tell her that she was going to pick every single one of them up and SAVE them in a little plastic baggy...to which she responded that she would just throw them away...absolutely not, I told her...she would be eating those fruit snacks at a later time because those cost money and we were not wasting them. 3 minutes later I go into the kitchen and they are all in the trash. Not only is she acting like a 13 month old but she's listening about as well as one too.

Maybe I should get those leashes that they have for kids so they're only 5 feet away from me at all times =)

Nah....I'm better than that...and besides, if I did that, what would I have to write about?

Our 4th of July excursion to White Lake, SD

First, I am going to post two pictures that were taken 5 minutes apart...in the first picture, I look like a beached whale who is about to give birth to like 500 baby whales:
I was so devastated seeing that picture on the camera that I immediately went upstairs and changed so Chris could take a picture and if I STILL looked like little miss fatso, I was going to stop eating right then and there! Here's picture number 2:

It's like night and day! I'm not saying I'm some skinny minny in this picture...I know I need to lose some weight, but gone is the whale and in is someone I can actually stomach looking at...this just goes to show (ALEECE GILMAN) that BLACK is the ONLY color that works for me. So you might as well give up on your agenda to get me in something other than black...never again.

Here are some more pictures (Not all, the rest are currently uploading onto Kodak gallery and will be sent out thereafter) from our very short trip to South Dakota...this is Ayris making the rice krispy bars before we left:

This was one of the first pictures that I took on the onset of some uncomfortableness on my part with the idea of my children getting all muddy. This was in fact, the first time they had played in the mud...at least on my watch:

Playing in the living room...
Alice and Ayris...

Amber with the kids...
Myron with Asher...



Bubbles in the sky...
Day two of playing in the mud...I'm still trying to figure out the allure of becoming a sloppy mess...they had a blast though.


Ayris about to go on her first motorcycle ride...




Thanks Dan and Dawn for taking all the kids for a ride!
Mom, I really gotta go pee!
I'm not kidding...you need to put the camera down and start assisting!
Maybe I can just plug the hole with my finger?
On the ride home...
I'm not kidding when I say that they waited until the last possible minute to fall asleep (about 15 minutes before we got home...at around 10:30 p.m.)

It was a great trip even though it was a short one...it only adds to my desire to have a big family. The love, the drama, the conversations, the abundance of people...can't wait!

THIS is why there's no time to clean underneath couches...

Initially I was thinking that I'd be lazy today...you know...sit on the couch mindlessly watching Dora and Caillou for hours upon hours. Instead I:

~Ran to Rainbow for milk and eggs
~Did 6 loads of laundry
~Made 3 beds after cleaning the sheets/pillow cases
~Sat outside with the kids while they played in their pool
~Made lunch
~Cleaned Chris' bathroom from floor to ceiling (a month or so back we had our cat Sophie locked up in there while she was being retrained...so tons of cat litter, food, water, cat hair, etc were ALL over the bathroom)
~Cleaned the rugs
~Swept and mopped the kitchen
~Took out the garbage
~Cleaned the kitchen
~Picked up Ayris' room
~Helped Ayris pick up her toys in the living room
~Vacuumed the house
~Gave the kids a bath
~Cooked dinner (nothing spectacular, frozen pizza...but still!)

In the midst of all this, I had the kids working on an art project:


I cleaned up the mess...got most of the paint off the table...next time, I could probably just bypass using paper for Asher altogether...look how serious he is about his painting though...

After they had finished, the project needed to dry a bit before getting a second coat...so I mistakenly left all the supplies on the table...there was that small part of me that thought I should get it off the table but the lazy in me resisted that idea. This is the part where the kids got their bath...after getting all nice and clean, we headed downstairs so I could FINALLY sit down for the day...

I log onto the blog hoping to get my 4th of July photos up when Ayris tells me that Asher has made another mess...I flew off the couch knowing darn well he had somehow reached the paint on the table:
Then my angel child Ayris decides she's going to put her foot in the mess...hello!
As I'm going into the kitchen to get a washcloth to clean Asher up, he decides to walk into the dining room even though I specifically instructed him not to move...these are the little green footprints he left behind.
Here's a spot he just apparently decided to dump on the carpet before making a mess on the linoleum...
Even though the spots on the carpet weren't HUGE, they still required me to haul out the carpet shampooer and then proceed to spend the next 30 minutes trying to get Asher, the linoleum and the carpets cleaned. The footprints came out, the green spot did not.

Seriously though, I don't think this would have been as annoying to me had I not done all the aforementioned things today...but again, this is why things underneath the couch are unimportant...

OY! Just as I was about to post this, Asher brought me some clear gel like substance (he likes to bring me all the treasures he finds...) that he was rubbing in between his fingers...I soon realized it was the stuff that is on the INSIDE of diapers...apparently I hadn't changed him in a while and he decided to poke a hole in it:
The diaper remnants are all over the carpet now...I couldn't get a good picture of it since it's clear...but this is where they will be remaining for now...at least until tomorrow when I've decided enough time has lapsed in between vacuuming sessions. I'm over caring at this point...nothing is going to be a big deal for the remainder of the night...the kids could set fire to the house and I'll grab their tubs filled with their memories and walk straight out the door...I'm resigned at this point. And besides, when I have other moments like this:
It makes it all worth it...